That's What Friends Are For

That’s What Friends Are For
copyright 2004

Chapter 1

Making a business plan

Ned Cholurski would have rather stayed at home, thinking about his sexy roommate and jerking off than
be at work. But then again, he would have rather put a blowtorch to his eyes than be at work. Thinking
of his roommate proved to be a better distraction.

No matter what he was doing, thoughts of Fiona flooded his mind. The way her short, sassy hair looked,
it made him want to run his fingers through it, get lost in the soft curls and waves like a surfer without his
board. Her rounded, firm ass bounced through his head. And her tits. Those luscious, round, full
breasts with their dark, hard nipples made him drool.

Just envisioning her now caused his cock to twitch to attention. Coughing, he pressed his hand on his
growing erection.

Come on, man. Keep it together. You can’t pop a woody a work.

Lately, she skipped through his thoughts a lot. Well, was fifty times a minute a lot? It didn’t help that he’
d known her since high school and she was his absolute best friend in the world.

Instead of dwelling on his dilemma, he applauded at the end of his boss’s lengthy, dry, redundant
speech, but what he really wanted to do involved shoving a pointed stick into his eyes and ears. Could
anyone keep himself sustained with that much hot air bubbling inside like his boss?

Ned watched the bloated man, Mr. Chunti, or Fat Bastard as Ned liked to think of him, rear back on his
heels at the end of a long conference table. The shiny, mahogany wood displayed his reflection making
him even more distorted and twisted. Perhaps the true man existed in the image and the fake one stood
in front of him. His boss’s face squished into a tight fist, almost obliterating his eyes. Fat Bastard.

“Great speech,” one of Ned’s co-workers mused. “Just a lot of doubletalk on how we’re not getting
raises again this year.”

“Yeah,” Ned piped in as he stood behind him. The claps echoed off of the peach-colored walls with their
amateurish paintings of what an artist must have thought the Virginia Beach coastline must look like.
The painter must have never visited the beach during tourist season.

“Meanwhile Chunti is on his third Alfa Romero this year. Prick,” a female co-worker added.

Ned never bothered learning any of his co-workers’ names. Why? He’d hoped one day he would have
been gone from this pit of hell, also known as Meta Corporation. He knew if he didn’t leave soon he
would be buried under his gray cubicle, his nameplate his tombstone.

“Third one, huh?” Ned said, trying hard to fit in but as usual, failing miserably.

The woman glared at Ned, snorted and returned her attention to their boss. In turn, because Ned never
bothered learning anyone’s names or joined the office lottery pool or even pitch in to the birthday fund,
no one paid much attention to him.

At one time he thought he overheard the other employees calling him ‘the tall, skinny one.’ That’s okay.
At least they didn’t call him ‘potential sniper guy’.

Besides, he’d all renamed them, too. Like the woman who’d just given him a dismissive look, she was
Too Much Perfume. The guy who’d commented about the raises, Nose-Picker. Instead of Native
Americans they were Native Office Cubists.

He observed them like a zoologist watching a panda. Studying them had helped Ned pass the time
when he’d stopped counting the ceiling tiles while a program loaded.

Too Much Perfume’s small breasts sagged so much it didn’t look like she wore a bra. Or maybe her part-
time job included smuggling chicken cutlets. And Dandruff Woman had a perpetually flat ass. Jiggly
Belly, well ‘nough said.

Why couldn’t all women look like his best friend? It was a high standard. He understood that. Maybe if
he hadn’t compared every woman to her, he would have dated more often.

Who was he kidding? If the woman wasn’t a carbon copy of his roommate, he didn’t give her a second
glance. He needed to though. No way in the world would he and his best friend ever date. They were
friends and promised each other they wouldn’t ruin their friendship by turning it into something romantic.

At least that was what she’d told him. But Ned knew better. She’d known him since high school. The
school nerd. Ned The Nerd. He still cringed when he thought of that nickname. And she’d been the
head cheerleader and prom queen, no less. Still amazed him that they became friends at all.

The crowd dispersed, returning to their desks including Ned, and not a moment too soon. The stench of
laziness and lack of motivation, that kind of smelled like bleach and old papers, choked him until he got
into a coughing jag that lasted him all the way back to his desk. He took a sip of his water, cracked his
knuckles and prepared to work.

Right after he sat in his rolling chair, he wheeled himself closer to his work area. A hand clamped on his
shoulder. Turning, he caught the squinty gaze of Fat Bastard.

“Nick, good to see you, again,” Bastard said and gave Ned two Vulcan pinch-type squeezes to his
shoulder.

“It’s Ned,” he said as he attempted to stand.

Bastard made sure he wouldn’t be able to rise and have a chance to tower over him by pressing his
hand down harder. He’d been told that Chunti didn’t like tall people so he wouldn’t have to keep looking
up. It wasn’t Ned’s fault that at six-foot-three he dwarfed the barely five-foot man.

Glossing over the error with Ned’s name, Bastard continued. “So what did you think of my little speech?”

I think I’m a better orator than you. I think no one here respects you. I think pure shit rolls from your
mouth and no amount of mouthwash or toothpaste can get rid of that stench. And I think I can run this
department, this company, better than you!

“It elicited a lot of strong reactions from your employees.” Ned watched Bastard’s face twist in a
confused expression until a strained smile hitched its way up.

“Keep up the good work, Nate.” And with a condescending smack to the back of Ned’s neck, Bastard
rolled onto the next unsuspecting victim.

Although gray surrounded him, his desk, the walls of his cubicle, even his chair, Ned saw red. He took in
a deep breath, holding it until the count of ten then released it through his nose in one smooth
exhalation.

God, he needed a boost. He couldn’t wait to get home. At least he would have something pleasant to
look at, or at least someone.

# # #

Fiona Griffen clicked her ballpoint pen in rapid succession as she sat with the phone receiver to her ear,
listening to boring Musak. Crossing her leg, she bounced it then chewed her bottom lip.

Come on. Just give me the bad news already.

Wasn’t it enough that she’d gotten good grades? Good? Hell, they were great. And she’d had the
bomb internships, all at active, busy courtrooms. All she wanted was this clerk position.

Well, that wasn’t all she wanted. But for her career path, it was enough for now.

What she really wanted involved perfection: the perfect job, the perfect house, the perfect car, the
perfect, finest man, a man who was courteous, kind, funny, compassionate, and having a big dick
wouldn’t hurt either. Just as she suppressed a chuckle the Musak stopped.

“Miss Griffen?” a voice said, cutting off the music and breaking her frantic thoughts.

Fiona sat up straighter, took a deep breath and kept the exhalation from the mouthpiece. “Yes.”

“We’ll get back to you.” Then the woman hung up.

Fiona stared at the receiver as though it would transform into a snake and strike her eyes. And from
her toes all the way through her body, she released a blood-curdling scream. So loud the yell, she didn’
t catch the door opening and closing.

“Whoa!”

Fiona slammed the phone on the couch then turned to her roommate. “Hey, Neddy.”

No matter what turmoil swirled in her life, her roommate and best friend since high school, Ned
Cholurski, could always lift her spirits. This time she wasn’t sure if his sweet face could cheer her.

“Beer. Gin. Vodka.” Fiona sprang from the hunter green couch. “I need alcohol. Lots of it.”

Dropping his briefcase next to the couch and his jacket on the arm, he kicked out of his loafers and
followed her into the kitchen. “I’m with you. I had a shitty day. You ever feel invisible?”

“Right about now? Hell yes!” She pulled out a frosty bottle of vodka from the freezer and set it on the
counter. Without saying anything, Ned retrieved two glasses from the cabinet over the stove.

What a perfect roommate. They moved as a unit without a word between them. And staring at his long,
slender fingers, his strong forearm and his cute, boyish, Ashton Kutcher-like looks, he appeared too
appealing…and that was before the alcohol.

She had to stop thinking about her roommate, her best friend, this way. But lately everything he did,
everything he touched, every time he looked at her, she wanted to jump on him, strip him out of his
clothes and slide him inside of her.

If milk did a body good then Ned must have bathed in the liquid daily since high school. The self-
professed geeky kid had grown up into a tall, slightly-muscled man with dreamy blue eyes she wanted to
get lost in and perfect, kissable lips. All men should be blessed with a set like Ned’s.

Probably why she kept hooking him up with different friends. If he wasn’t available, she wouldn’t go after
him. The man used to do math problems to relax. Why would he want to be with her other than the
obvious, her looks? Even though they got along, even argued like a married couple, she knew that
when push came to shove he would want a woman who could match his wit. So maybe he could go for a
sexy lawyer. She hoped.

"I’m trying to get this clerk’s job in Judge Kristoff’s court and I keep getting blown off. They won’t give a
sista a break.” Fiona spun off the cap of the vodka bottle with one twist. She poured the clear liquid
into the two glasses. After lifting them, they clinked them together.

“So why did your day suck?” Fiona asked as she sat on top of the countertop.

Ned took a drink, tilting his head and exposing his long neck. God, it had been too long since Fiona had
a man. Hard, pounding, wet, tense sex. A good fuck session.

Maybe she shouldn’t have broken up with Kwame just yet. But then again, she wasn’t down for staying
with a man who couldn’t be faithful…no matter how badly she needed her pussy stroked. Was that why
Ned seemed cuter lately? He epitomized loyalty.

“Bad meeting. My boss called me Nick.”

Fiona winced. “Ouch. That’s never good.”

Ned shook his head, wiggling his scruffy, brown hair. “I just don’t stand out.” He took a healthy gulp and
set his glass on the counter next to Fiona, brushing his hand against her naked thigh and sending a
firestorm of sparks shooting up her leg and gathering at her throbbing vagina. “What do I have to do to
move up?”

Did he know what his touch did to her? Fuck, she needed a man.

“Maybe it’s not what but who you have to do?” Fiona winked and tapped her leg against her friend’s leg.

“I should fuck my boss, Fat Bastard?” Ned snickered. “Or maybe one of those stuck-up bitches who
keep thinking I work in the mailroom instead of being a computer programmer. If they were as hot at
you, it would be a no-brainer.”

Fiona rolled her eyes but inside her stomach quivered. Ned thought she was hot? Maybe he needed a
girlfriend. She had to set him up…quick!

For as long as she’d known him, since their freshman year of high school, he’d always been quiet,
reserved but sweet. She’d recognized that when he walked into their beginner’s French class they first
shared together with his head hung down, appearing like a golf club. But he was the nicest, most
considerate person she’d ever met. And when their friendship had evolved, no one believed that the
head cheerleader would have befriended the school nerd. But they clicked.

Fiona was no Freud but she figured it had a lot to do with first impressions. No one thought a black
head cheerleader would want to go into law. But she fooled them. And she was this close to fooling
herself into believing she wanted this dream too.

“At least you’re working.” Fiona finished off her drink. After setting the glass on the counter, she said,
“I've decided that I’m going to call my parents and tell them I’m moving back home.”

Planting his hands on either sides of Fiona, trapping her in her spot on the countertop, Ned stared at
her, boring his sky blue eyes into her gaze. “You are not going back home.”

The intensity in his words almost made her shrink. If it hadn’t been for the fact that she knew Ned had
always looked out for her from the very beginning of their friendship, she would have thought his
demand was more selfish than selfless.

"I can’t keep sponging off of you. I’m not contributing anything to this household,” she said and
attempted to slide off of the counter.

Instead her legs slid around his body. Her chest pressed against his. Grabbing his arms to brace
herself, Fiona’s heart pounded so loud, it sounded in her ears. Her t-shirt rose up as it slid against
Ned’s shirt, almost exposing her bra.

Ned’s breathing whispered by her face, in her ear. Without her wanting it to, her body reacted. Her
shoulders relaxed, her legs squeezed him a little tighter. She clutched his arms as though she was
embracing him in bed. God, what was she doing? This was her fucking roommate. Her best friend. Not
the man she should fuck.

“Oh, you’re doing a lot here in the house.” Ned eased his hands to her hips and held her almost
possessively. Did he just hook his fingers into the belt loops in her denim shorts?

She swallowed hard. Her best friend had never made her this nervous before. She needed to get laid
or she needed to get a job and move out. But she wouldn’t make a fool of herself by asking him out and
have him laugh in her face because he couldn’t take her seriously.

“What am I doing for you? Good whack-off material?” Fiona giggled but Ned cleared his throat, hitched
up a nervous smile and retreated, allowing her to gain footing onto the floor.

“You cook. You keep this place habitable so that if I had other friends, I could have company. I get cool
points just being around you.” He poured another drink for her then gurgled out a glass for himself.

What a gentleman. A gentle man. If he knew how much she needed him in her life as much as he
claimed he needed her, he would be charging her rent, making her change the oil in his car and
demand that she suck his cock, ride his face and fuck him on a regular basis. Wait, maybe those last
three were on his list of demands.

She needed to get laid.

“I’ll tell you what else you do for me,” he began. “You keep me sane so I don’t run off and kill that fat
bastard, Chunti.”

Fiona’s eyes widened as an idea struck. “Chunti? Your boss’s name is Chunti? As in A. Frank Chunti?”

“You didn’t know that?”

“You’ve always called him Fat Bastard.” She took a sip of her drink. “Chunti and Kristoff are golf
buddies. They host a golf tournament every year.” Her mind raced with ideas. “I’ve got it.” She downed
her drink then slammed her glass on the counter. “You want to move up at work, right?”

“Among other things. I have ideas for my own software programs but without a backer or a higher title,
they’re just ideas.” He loosened his tie and unbuttoned the top buttons of his shirt.

“I promise you that with my help, you’ll get your promotion. And with you, I’ll get that clerk position.”
Fiona smiled, finally figuring a way to get out of her career dilemma and get this man into bed…strictly
as friends, of course.

“And how do you plan on doing that?” he asked.

“Dating and sex.” She blurted the words as though she’d said ‘education’ and ‘training.’

“Excuse me?”

“You are invisible at work because no one notices you, right?” She opened the menu drawer and pulled
out a red-and-white take-out menu.

Ned shook his head and grimaced. He didn’t even have to look at the name on the menu to know the
restaurant. Shoving it back in the drawer and retrieving a second all-yellow menu, he nodded and
smiled.

“Number eight with extra noodles,” he said then handed her his wallet. “So what does being noticed
have to do with anything?”

“Gee, and I thought that naïve thing from high school was just an act.”

Ned smirked. “Funny.”

“Don’t you know it’s just like that old saying, ‘It’s not what you know but who you know’? You keep
saying that I’m hot.”

“You are.”

“And you gain cool points by being around me.”

“I do.”

“Then this is what we’re going to do. You’re going to date me.”

Ned’s eyebrows furrowed as he stopped midway while pulling his shirt from his pants. “Date you?”

“Just long enough for Chunti to notice and be impressed. A man with a piece of eye-candy on his arm
looks like a winner. And dating is a lot like getting a good job. It’s all about saying and doing the right
things.” She picked up the phone, punched in the numbers to the take-out restaurant they both agreed
on, and ordered their dinners.

“So in this dating process, will it involve---”

“Courting, dinners, parties, social appearances and sex. Lots of it. Fucking like rabbits.”

Ned stared at her, his mouth agape as though she’d grown a third tit. She couldn’t be serious. Sure it’d
been his fantasy. He’d dreamed about doing exactly what she proposed. Dating her, showing her off to
friends, fucking her until their bodies rendered immobile.

But with a woman who could pass for a taller version of Jada Pinkett Smith, what would she want with a
skinny white guy? Ned The Nerd? And did he really want to lose her as a friend for the sake of hot,
pulsing-pounding sex?

“You’re crazy.” He ducked into his bedroom. He should have known she would follow him.

Standing in the doorway, she folded her arms, leaned against the frame and said, “It all makes sense. I’
ll show up with you at company functions so people can see me. You’ll look like the company stud and it’
ll guarantee you more interest from your bosses, therefore you’ll get that raise and a promotion.”

If she knew what the prospect was doing to him, she would have known he’d been getting a raise from
her since she pressed her body against him in the kitchen. And she smelled so good. She always wore
a vanilla scent that made him want to nibble ever part of her body like a sugar cookie.

“And what will having sex do for my career? My ego, I know. But my career---”

“That’s a no-brainer. Fucking is exactly like work. Positions. Knowing what works for your partner.
Intensity. Relief.”

Ned held up his hand, uncovering his growing erection. “That’s enough.”

Fiona pulled out a couple of twenties from his wallet for dinner and tossed the black leather billfold on
his bed next to him.

“I get where you’re going with this. But what will this deal do for you?”

“A nice little letter from your boss. If I can get the man alone, I can convince him to write a
recommendation about me to send to Judge Kristoff. Your boss may be a slime bucket, but I bet he’s
got Kristoff’s ear. Don’t you see? This could work.”

“But what about our agreement? We’ve remained great friends because we promised never to date and
ruin our relationship.”

“But this isn’t sex for pleasure.”

“At least with me it wouldn’t be.” Ned chuckled, making Fiona smile.

“This is work. Like preparing for a job interview.”

“And what makes you think I’m not sexually savvy?” He opened his shirt and tossed it on his dirty
laundry pile at the corner of his bedroom.

He had a swimmer’s body. Broad shoulders, long, lean arms, a well muscled back and rippled abs.
When did Ned The Nerd turn to Ned The Hunk? She brought her gaze back to his and answered his
query.

“You haven’t dated anyone since college, and the one girl you did date can’t really be counted because
as you know, I set her up to go out with you.”

And that girl was no Fiona. If Fiona knew that Ned only dated that girl to make Fiona happy, she wouldn’
t see him as such the nice guy anymore.

“I think this is a great plan. We’ll both get something out of it.” She licked her tongue over her lips.
Why did she have to do that? “And it won’t affect our friendship. We love each other too much to let
that happen. Besides, it’s not like we haven’t seen each other naked before.”

“Yeah, you’re the only woman I know who doesn’t mind pissing in front of a guy.”

“Hey, if I have to go I have to go.” She winked. “But don’t forget that time you took care of me when I
had my appendix taken out. You had to give me sponge baths until I could bathe myself.”

Why did she have to remind him of that too? He’d remembered her sleek body, those perfect grapefruit
half-sized breasts, those long legs. He wanted her. Lord knows he’d been dreaming about the moment
for years.

“And I’ve taken care of you and seen you naked. Like the time you broke your leg. I had to bathe you
then.” She strolled to him.

Why did she have to remind him of that time too? Ned distinctly remember biting the insides of his
cheeks, pinching his leg until he made a numb spot and even counting to a hundred in his head to keep
from getting a hard-on when she cleaned him.

But now she gave him the green light to pursue a physical relationship, even if it was only for a short
while and fake. Maybe that was better than nothing.

It was his lust that made him answer, “Okay, you have a deal.” He held his hand to her to shake it.
Instead, she leapt on top of him, pushing him back against the bed and straddling his body.

“Lesson one starts tonight.”